CHAPTER 11: For My Faithful... Apparently more than a few: A blog so ordinary and boring I’m embarrassed to publish it

For My Faithful... Apparently more than a few: A blog so ordinary and boring I’m embarrassed to publish it

I seem to be looking through a peculiar lens this week. Everything I do and observe, I am narrating like a book in my head.  I am so excited about writing that I am writing as I live—like an outside observer at times. I can’t tell if it’s healthy or not. If I could manage to hold onto the stories long enough to record them, perhaps it would be at the very least, productive.

I also can’t tell if I’m merely jet lagged or thrilled about life. Of course I am generally sleepy at 7, asleep by 10— and awake at all hours of the night (though normally I sleep until 7:30 or later, shower, dress, walk quickly to work and arrive barely on time at 8:15— usually cranky because I forgot breakfast and coffee)—  However, my sleeping patterns are amplified right now.

This morning I was awake very early but managed to sleep in until… 4:45 AM. I was ready for work, much more clean cut than normal two hours early. I read the Bible a bit and expounded upon a few verses in Genesis for what turned into a two-paged, single-spaced, analytical devotional essay.

I got to work early and cleaned up much of my paper work around the classroom—a hefty task that I usually don’t even consider tackling anymore. I taught my classes with much vigor, feeling like an effective educator most of the day as I beamed at the group discussions I was eaves dropping on that were mostly on topic and quite analytical. I had many proud-of-my-student moments today. I graded more assignments in one hour than I have graded in weeks (winter break aside), had a conversation a with student about grades I had been dreading, spent three hours absolutely engrossed in a book in a coffee shop after work and all the while—I couldn’t stop smiling— all day. It’s like I’m in love, but not, clearly not because I was incredibly productive. It was creepy. I’m still so keyed up at almost 9 PM that I took some supplements to help me get sleepy because I can tell that it is going to be a restless night. I hate restless nights. I love this productivity and I don’t want it to end, but I do want to feel sane and balanced, sort of like before… but maybe with an extra portion of both. The good side is that I’ve been so productive and not bored due to my new book habit that I think I’ve lost a few pounds. If I keep that up for say… ever, it’ll be good.

I feel like I’m rambling but I want to keep my promise to blog even though I don’t feel like I have anything very interesting to say.

Speaking of my new book habit… It’s not that I didn’t read before. I just read different stuff, more… Christian stuff if you will. You see, I recently discovered a guilty pleasure that is taking up more time than I should allow. It is something I felt shame about for the first few days and now I just want to get it over with so I can move on with my life. It started with the movies this summer, but I just couldn’t stop there. I turned to the books on my flight home last week—simply out of curiosity… and the cat is dead. It’s Twilight—the vampire saga. Not my style AT ALL. First, I don’t like fiction. Second, I don’t like fantasy. Third, I don’t like reading ANYTHING that is not realistic and spiritually and emotionally uplifting and yet, I can’t stop. I’m addicted. But it might be a good thing. I have only been absorbed in a book a few times in my life and I think it is merely because I have tried the wrong books. I am actually excited about reading FICTION—other fiction, no more vampire series… once I finish this one of course. I found myself sneaking pages in between classes… and then reading during class when my students were doing group work—not a good teaching strategy, but that was yesterday. Today I was good, mostly.

I managed to finish the first book yesterday afternoon and then decided to take a break. I wasn’t going to start the next book until I had a long weekend. I got a list of thrilling Christian books from a friend at work and I was going to read those instead in the mean time. But as I sat on my lunch break, looking at my Kindle scanning from Francine Rivers to Twilight: New Moon and back again and I simply couldn’t focus on another series until I finish this one. That was at lunch. I went to the coffee shop across from my school after work and sat in a corner from 4:30 pm until 7:30 pm reading.

My boring rant is over. Well not really.

I started to write a personal memoir last week after praying about what to write about. Yesterday I prayed for guidance in writing as well and then I had an idea for another book, a biblical allegory. I even got the inspiration and ideas for a whole allegorical series about our relationship with Christ. I got started. Then today, I prayed for guidance and ended up with a long analytical essay on some verses so I can’t say I’m not writing. I can’t say I’m not praying about it. I can’t say I know where this is going… Oh well, God does.

Suddenly the growling within me is reminding me that I forgot to eat dinner.

Peace

God Bless